More cuddle ranting.

Um I guess I'm posting this a little late but oh well, I don't think anyone was waiting up just to read my blog post of the day. But if there is anyone out there who cares that much about me and my tinderwhore thoughts, much love. 

So I'm thinking more about my post from yesterday. I think cuddling is just one of those topics I can rant and ramble about for too long. 

I don't want to come off like a total jerk here. I've decided I don't mind cuddling that much, but only when appropriate. Like during a movie, I'm down for some cuddles under a blankie. Or anytime I'm cold, you can warm me. As we're laying around or before we fall asleep, that's fine. 

It's just during sleep that pisses me off. Have you seen those bed comforters that say "her side" marked on like 90% of the cover and "his side" on 10%. Because that shit is false. In many cases at least. Like the strong majority of guys I've slept with, I'd say had cuddle lovin issues. They would cuddle me till I couldn't sleep, feeling claustrophobic and hot and gross and squished. I just want to breathe and have space at night, okay? I've not returned guys' calls because they've pressured me to hard to cuddle all night. (Okay that's a lie.. No one calls anymore but that sounded better than "I've ignored texts.." But I guess that's more accurate.) 

So basically, if I suffer through your cuddles all night, you must be doin something right or you must be that attractive, because I definitely don't suffer for just anyone. 

And to those jerks trying to win Tinderellas by writing some lame cheesy line about loving to cuddle, or suffering through sex just to get to snuggle afterward, I say BS. You prob do like to cuddle and just think girls do too. Or maybe most girls do, and I'm just the weird one. In any case, that line definitely won't make this tinder whore swipe right. 

Edit lists.

You know how you can now categorize your Tinder matches.

For instance...

Group one. "Elite sexies"

Two. "Quite attractive" 

Three. "Decent looks and decent convo"

Four. "Met in real life"

(I wouldn't have an ug group bc why would I right swipe someone ug. And I block the creepers so they don't get a group either.)

Not saying that I categorize my men by looks, but maybe I do. 

I feel like I kinda have different categories of friends in real life too. The just aren't labeled explicitly. Like I have a small group of besties. Then I have a group where I can be more sarcastic and talk about sex and be offensive without offending them. And I have a group of acquaintences that are still okay friends. And then a group of acquaintences I'd wave to or smile at but not much else. And everyone else can go in the obnoxious last category since I can't block people in real life. Sometimes it would be super convenient to have all my friends labeled though, because every now and then I might forget someone's category and next thing you know I say something way too sexual and then they're the ones wishing for a block button. That's only happened a couple times though. I think. 

Sincere apologies.

I deeply apologize to you guys. I realized I lied in one of my previous posts. I said I'd never been Tinder-blocked. False. I have. It was in my early Tindering days, like right when I first downloaded the app. I was not at all trusting of it or anyone I talked to on it, so I never actually gave my number or met up with anyone throughout these early stages of my Tinder life. Instead. I was basically a bitch. I'd like to think I did it in a sassy or witty way. But that's just plain obnoxious to say about yourself.

I used to "like" someone and then just message them until they were so uncomfortable that they blocked me. And the convo did disappear. Like I would say how the guy reminded me of a male stripper I used to um use. Or I would make them feel really awkward about something they said or asked me about. And I think I may have talked about past sexual experiences going into way too much detail until they couldn't handle it any more. Then they'd block me. And I'd feel like I succeeded. 

This lasted only for a short time. Eventually, like probably the first time I matched with someone way sexy, I took the app more seriously. Thank god. Otherwise this blog would make me come off pretty badly. 

I hope you all accept my apology. 

Hopes.

I hope I never run out of things to write about on this Tinder blog.