Evolution of a Tinder Whore.

As time passes, shit changes. Let's reflect a bit on how I've evolved as a Tinder user (addict/whore/slutty-dgaffer?)...

When I first downloaded the app last year, I thought of it as a joke. I never met up with anyone in real life, that seemed wayyy too sketchy (ha! -me today). I only initiated convo if I had something sassily bitchy to say. I never tried to be totally mean to anyone, becuase I like to think I'm not a totally horrible person. But I definitely had my fun with heavy sarcasm that probably went over most of the Tinderos heads. I would push people to probably feel pretty uncomfortable until they often blocked me. Some guys - the attractive ones who I didn't purposely scare - would ask for my number or try to convince me to meet them. Eh. I'd maybe give my number and text for a little while. But soon I'd get freaked out about talking to some completely random guy. I definitely never made plans or followed up with any of the boys who wanted to meet up.
But things were also pretty different way back then. Tinder was still gaining popularity, a lot of people were just starting to use the app around the same time, and plenty of people still hadn't even heard of it. Guys didn't have the game the good ones have developed today. Conversations (the real ones, not my bitch-infused ones) were boring. No one even came close to wooing me the way some of them do now.

After a little while, maybe a few months of passive Tinder use, I got more into it. I only swiped the really hot guys right. I lowered my bitch vibe level (that shit can never completely go away.) I would get into some more interesting conversations with more interesting guys. I didn't freak out about giving guys my number. I decided it wouldn't hurt to meet some of these Tinderos. I had friends by now who were using the app and met up with some matches. It didn't scare me quite as much, I got over that fear. But I still always insisted we meet in a public place. I was into it when we had some mutual friends - it made me feel like it was less random and creepy. I also always thoroughly facebook- and insta-stalked the boys. I made them promise not to kidnap me. And I would tell a friend where I was going, who I was meeting, blah blah all that safe and responsible shit blah.

Time went on.

I thought maybe I was over Tinder.
That thought lasted about an hour.
What else would I be doing in my spare time? Where else would I meet any new guys? (Sidenote and potential future post: Where do people meet people if not on Tinder?!)

Last summer I really started getting my Tinder on.
My right thumb has developed redic swiping muscles.
I had built up a lot of contacts in my phone book with the last name "Tinder."
I started to prefer not to have any mutual friends with my Tinder boys.
I started meeting up and hanging out with guys, no big deal.
They all promised not to kidnap me, and so far, no one's broken their promise!
I stopped caring if we met in public. No need to waste time and money. I'll just go to the Tindero's place, whatever.
My friends don't know about the majority of my sexcapades with my Tinder boys.
I'm probably pretty stupid and irresponsible and reckless in my behavior.
Who gives a fuck though. It's worked out so far. I'm still alive and Tinderwhoring well.

Dgaf. Yolo. All that carpe diem crap. That's what life's all about, right? Mhm.

Liez.

I feel like it's totally expected for people to lie on Tinder.
Some guy friends have told me that they've met multiple girls who looked super cute in their Tinder pics, and either they were way old or majorly photoshopped because these girls were real unfortunate lookin in real life. I haven't experienced that with any guys, but I'm sure it happens with them too.
So maybe I'm just not very trusting, but I never believe anyone who starts a convo with some line like this (all real examples)…
"I've never done this before but I was wondering if you wanted to meet up…"
"You're the first girl I've actually messaged on this thing and…"
"Wow I can't believe I'm actually using Tinder, but you're the only one I've actually wanted to talk to…"
"Your profile is the only one that's really caught me eye…"
etc. You get the picture. Like uh I'm sure you've said that to at least three other girls today. And maybe if you're lucky, one of the other bitches is stupid enough to think that's a sweet line and she'll respond and blow you later.

Sincere apologies.

I deeply apologize to you guys. I realized I lied in one of my previous posts. I said I'd never been Tinder-blocked. False. I have. It was in my early Tindering days, like right when I first downloaded the app. I was not at all trusting of it or anyone I talked to on it, so I never actually gave my number or met up with anyone throughout these early stages of my Tinder life. Instead. I was basically a bitch. I'd like to think I did it in a sassy or witty way. But that's just plain obnoxious to say about yourself.

I used to "like" someone and then just message them until they were so uncomfortable that they blocked me. And the convo did disappear. Like I would say how the guy reminded me of a male stripper I used to um use. Or I would make them feel really awkward about something they said or asked me about. And I think I may have talked about past sexual experiences going into way too much detail until they couldn't handle it any more. Then they'd block me. And I'd feel like I succeeded. 

This lasted only for a short time. Eventually, like probably the first time I matched with someone way sexy, I took the app more seriously. Thank god. Otherwise this blog would make me come off pretty badly. 

I hope you all accept my apology.