Evolution of a Tinder Whore.

As time passes, shit changes. Let's reflect a bit on how I've evolved as a Tinder user (addict/whore/slutty-dgaffer?)...

When I first downloaded the app last year, I thought of it as a joke. I never met up with anyone in real life, that seemed wayyy too sketchy (ha! -me today). I only initiated convo if I had something sassily bitchy to say. I never tried to be totally mean to anyone, becuase I like to think I'm not a totally horrible person. But I definitely had my fun with heavy sarcasm that probably went over most of the Tinderos heads. I would push people to probably feel pretty uncomfortable until they often blocked me. Some guys - the attractive ones who I didn't purposely scare - would ask for my number or try to convince me to meet them. Eh. I'd maybe give my number and text for a little while. But soon I'd get freaked out about talking to some completely random guy. I definitely never made plans or followed up with any of the boys who wanted to meet up.
But things were also pretty different way back then. Tinder was still gaining popularity, a lot of people were just starting to use the app around the same time, and plenty of people still hadn't even heard of it. Guys didn't have the game the good ones have developed today. Conversations (the real ones, not my bitch-infused ones) were boring. No one even came close to wooing me the way some of them do now.

After a little while, maybe a few months of passive Tinder use, I got more into it. I only swiped the really hot guys right. I lowered my bitch vibe level (that shit can never completely go away.) I would get into some more interesting conversations with more interesting guys. I didn't freak out about giving guys my number. I decided it wouldn't hurt to meet some of these Tinderos. I had friends by now who were using the app and met up with some matches. It didn't scare me quite as much, I got over that fear. But I still always insisted we meet in a public place. I was into it when we had some mutual friends - it made me feel like it was less random and creepy. I also always thoroughly facebook- and insta-stalked the boys. I made them promise not to kidnap me. And I would tell a friend where I was going, who I was meeting, blah blah all that safe and responsible shit blah.

Time went on.

I thought maybe I was over Tinder.
That thought lasted about an hour.
What else would I be doing in my spare time? Where else would I meet any new guys? (Sidenote and potential future post: Where do people meet people if not on Tinder?!)

Last summer I really started getting my Tinder on.
My right thumb has developed redic swiping muscles.
I had built up a lot of contacts in my phone book with the last name "Tinder."
I started to prefer not to have any mutual friends with my Tinder boys.
I started meeting up and hanging out with guys, no big deal.
They all promised not to kidnap me, and so far, no one's broken their promise!
I stopped caring if we met in public. No need to waste time and money. I'll just go to the Tindero's place, whatever.
My friends don't know about the majority of my sexcapades with my Tinder boys.
I'm probably pretty stupid and irresponsible and reckless in my behavior.
Who gives a fuck though. It's worked out so far. I'm still alive and Tinderwhoring well.

Dgaf. Yolo. All that carpe diem crap. That's what life's all about, right? Mhm.

Guys vs girls.

So I know this doesn't apply to everyone. But based on a good majority of guys I know versus girls, they tinder pretty differently. 

A lot of guys (especially the not super hot ones) swipe every girl right, just to see who likes them. Then if they match with some unfortunate looking girl, they'll block her or whatev. But I've talked to a lot of guys who do this, or at some point in their tinder life have done this. I've never heard of girls using this method of swiping all guys right just to see who likes them. But there probably are some girls somewhere who do this. 

I know plenty of guys who don't give a shit really and just say whatever they want if they decide to start a convo with a girl. Or some who maybe have some lame pickup line they use with each girl. And then there are girls. I'd say the majority of girls who I've talked to about tinder say they don't want to ever be the one who initiates the convo. Like really? Stop being such pussies. But don't be stupid either. I know plenty of guys who appreciate when a girl messages first, as long as it's a good message. 

Here's a little advice for both guys and girls who are brave enough to start a convo with a new match: 

- Don't IMMEDIATELY message the match. Like that just shows what little life you have. I'd say maybe give it at least a day. 

- But also don't wait weeks or months to message someone because that person has had more than enough time to talk to you if he/she really wanted to. 

- Be friendly or flirty or whatever you're goin for. 

- Don't be creepy and suggest meeting up right away. And def don't be gross or too explicit with what you want. 

- Don't be boring. If you really don't know what to say, everyone likes compliments. Or maybe say something based on your match's description. But don't be too cheesy and try not to sound like an idiot. 

- I'm sometimes a sarcastic bitch right away in a conversation with a new match, but I don't necessarily recommend this approach to everyone. Unless you're a pro sarcastic bitch. But if you don't know what you're doing, things will likely not end well. You have to be smart about it. 

Well. Those are all my helpful hints at the moment. If someone's hot, don't be afraid to message him/her. 

YOLO, ya know. 

K go tinder and find matches and talk to those sexy matches. 

Bye bitchezz. 

Liez.

I feel like it's totally expected for people to lie on Tinder.
Some guy friends have told me that they've met multiple girls who looked super cute in their Tinder pics, and either they were way old or majorly photoshopped because these girls were real unfortunate lookin in real life. I haven't experienced that with any guys, but I'm sure it happens with them too.
So maybe I'm just not very trusting, but I never believe anyone who starts a convo with some line like this (all real examples)…
"I've never done this before but I was wondering if you wanted to meet up…"
"You're the first girl I've actually messaged on this thing and…"
"Wow I can't believe I'm actually using Tinder, but you're the only one I've actually wanted to talk to…"
"Your profile is the only one that's really caught me eye…"
etc. You get the picture. Like uh I'm sure you've said that to at least three other girls today. And maybe if you're lucky, one of the other bitches is stupid enough to think that's a sweet line and she'll respond and blow you later.

Bloglife.

Follow me on BlogLovin?

I want people to read my blog. How does whole blog thing work? Doesn't anyone care about my Tinderful life? I'll tell you such good stories. If you're a guy, you can learn how to Tinder and how not to Tinder. I'll win you the hottiez. If you're a girl, you can read some good shit, relate to me, also maybe learn some Tinder tips. Or maybe just laugh at what a joke my life is.
Peace Love Tinder

Unfortunate.

Don't you hate it when the guy turns out to be the unfortunate looking one out of the group of friends? And he has like all group pics except the last one, so you have to scroll through them all and then you just get disappointed. Like just show your face in the first pic and save everyone some time. 

Tinder Tips for Guyz: What to Do and What Not to Do
^^That might be the name of my future book.