Monday, February 10, 2014

Evolution of a Tinder Whore.

As time passes, shit changes. Let's reflect a bit on how I've evolved as a Tinder user (addict/whore/slutty-dgaffer?)...

When I first downloaded the app last year, I thought of it as a joke. I never met up with anyone in real life, that seemed wayyy too sketchy (ha! -me today). I only initiated convo if I had something sassily bitchy to say. I never tried to be totally mean to anyone, becuase I like to think I'm not a totally horrible person. But I definitely had my fun with heavy sarcasm that probably went over most of the Tinderos heads. I would push people to probably feel pretty uncomfortable until they often blocked me. Some guys - the attractive ones who I didn't purposely scare - would ask for my number or try to convince me to meet them. Eh. I'd maybe give my number and text for a little while. But soon I'd get freaked out about talking to some completely random guy. I definitely never made plans or followed up with any of the boys who wanted to meet up.
But things were also pretty different way back then. Tinder was still gaining popularity, a lot of people were just starting to use the app around the same time, and plenty of people still hadn't even heard of it. Guys didn't have the game the good ones have developed today. Conversations (the real ones, not my bitch-infused ones) were boring. No one even came close to wooing me the way some of them do now.

After a little while, maybe a few months of passive Tinder use, I got more into it. I only swiped the really hot guys right. I lowered my bitch vibe level (that shit can never completely go away.) I would get into some more interesting conversations with more interesting guys. I didn't freak out about giving guys my number. I decided it wouldn't hurt to meet some of these Tinderos. I had friends by now who were using the app and met up with some matches. It didn't scare me quite as much, I got over that fear. But I still always insisted we meet in a public place. I was into it when we had some mutual friends - it made me feel like it was less random and creepy. I also always thoroughly facebook- and insta-stalked the boys. I made them promise not to kidnap me. And I would tell a friend where I was going, who I was meeting, blah blah all that safe and responsible shit blah.

Time went on.

I thought maybe I was over Tinder.
That thought lasted about an hour.
What else would I be doing in my spare time? Where else would I meet any new guys? (Sidenote and potential future post: Where do people meet people if not on Tinder?!)

Last summer I really started getting my Tinder on.
My right thumb has developed redic swiping muscles.
I had built up a lot of contacts in my phone book with the last name "Tinder."
I started to prefer not to have any mutual friends with my Tinder boys.
I started meeting up and hanging out with guys, no big deal.
They all promised not to kidnap me, and so far, no one's broken their promise!
I stopped caring if we met in public. No need to waste time and money. I'll just go to the Tindero's place, whatever.
My friends don't know about the majority of my sexcapades with my Tinder boys.
I'm probably pretty stupid and irresponsible and reckless in my behavior.
Who gives a fuck though. It's worked out so far. I'm still alive and Tinderwhoring well.
Dgaf. Yolo. All that carpe diem crap. That's what life's all about, right? Mhm.


  1. to long didn't read

  2. Sometimes we can all enjoy casual sex without any bullshit! And what better place to get a partner for it than tinder? GL and fuck a hot guy aight? Greetings from CR ��

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  4. I needed to read this. Thank you, someone on the same level as me. I was wondering if I was the only tinder whore out there

  5. Good information friend. I used tinder app for dating and i got impressed with the features that are available. Its one such cool app.

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  6. Been there done that when MySpace was popular.

  7. Been there done that when MySpace was popular.

  8. you've basically spoken my mind and I love you for that. I started with tinder trolling guys because boring conversations like what do you study and which Uni are you from were degenerating my brain cells. I took a next step into meeting them and eventually had a series of fuckboys. One part of me would say that it's not the best thing for me to do because it numbs the loneliness and I would get my feelings played (tbh there was one time I sorta had feelings for one of the fuckboys). this part of me was influenced mostly by my traditional parents and friends who had boyfriends and MEDIA. Most of the time I just get really pissed off because I really don't see what's wrong with just having good fun sex (with protection though, don't want any of that preggers or STD shit). It just gets too annoying having to play this game of waiting for the right partner and I actually feel more empowered that I have a choice to do whatever I want, be it fucking around with a guy. and I also agree with you, if not tinder, how the hell am I suppose to meet guys?

  9. I love you whores. By giving it up so easy you lower the value all the prudes can get for their sexual favors. Why would I want to pay for sex. Be it dinner, or drinks, cash, sparkling conversation. That's why women hate whores. You provide cheap easy sex to men. God bless you. Men sure do love fucking whores but we would never wife you sluts up. Your whore tendencies mean we risk paying to raise another man's baby. A whore is always a whore. What's a whores incentive to stop whoring around? Getting resources and attention from men and all you have to do is screw. Wish I was a woman. A man whore eventually settles down to get regular sex from his own personal whore. Men and women hate whores but we men sure do love fucking you. Never have men had to commit less to plant their seed all over town. I salute you whores. Once again. God bless