So I'm not a huge fan of this romantic bullshit holiday. Maybe because I'm always single and get grossed out by the couples around me being all cutesy, swooning over each other, buying and getting flowers and teddy bears and candy and heart things.
But I think even if I had a Valentine, I'd be grossed out by that romancey shit. Like I'd maybe be down to go out with someone that night and then go play back at his place all night.
But honestly, if someone ever sends me a teddy bear that says "I love you" when you press its heart, I may vomit on it.
Maybe I should start hardcore tindering to find a Valentine. It would probably be way to desperate to write in my description "Wanted: sexy Valentine who will take me out and take me home, get me drunk, and do dirty things with me. No romance needed. The only Valentinesy part of this "date" is maybe I'll wear some red lingerie."
But maybe if I match with someone good I'll just tell them that anyway.
Gotta rock that dgaf lifestyle, ya know.
Bitchez look out.
I might find me a Valentine this year.
Valentinder much?
But also don't be surprised if I write a blog post February 15 saying that my plan didn't quite work and I ended up staying home and getting drunk and eating chocolate all night.
I'll keep you posted.
Xo ho.
