This was basically our convo:
Hot British Actor (HBA): Hey how are you?
Me: Pretty good, how are you?
HBA: Good. What are you doing?
Me: Umm nothing exciting. I'm just laying on the couch in my sweats watching the Grammys and cuddling with my dog hah. What about you?
HBA: I'm really horny and am about to jack off.
Hey, whatever, at least we were both honest.
I gave him my phone number.
So what do you normally open with? Some guys are like if you say hey it's lame. Wtf else am I gonna say...so I'm asking you as an experienced tinder sensei
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