Fuck cuddles.

Some gender stereotypes piss me off. Most I don't really care about and lots I laugh at. But there are a few...actually one in particular on my mind. 

Cuddling. 

"Girls just love to cuddle and snuggle and be all close and crap while guys just want to have sex and then suffer through the nighttime cuddles."

Um. 

What the fuck. 

I don't know about you, maybe I've just had bad luck, but in my experiences, guys are definitely the ones who prefer that shit. 

Or maybe I'm not a good girl and I just don't like that shit. 

But either way. Guys are definitely into it. 

Like I'm not about to give any numbers out here or anything, but I've slept with enough guys where I feel comfortable saying that statement and believing it. 

I don't mind falling asleep with an arm around me or spooning or whatever. But that doesn't need to last too long. Definitely not all night. I've tried pushing guys off me (Friends fans: Ross's hug & roll, anyone?) during the night and I've tried to roll away from snuggle monsters until I'm practically falling off the bed. 

Sometimes it keeps me up at night. Not like when I'm sleeping alone and thinking about this life problem, only when I'm in bed with a boy who needs to keep his cutesy touchy feely hands to himself. 

So whatever asshole spread the rumor that girls love to cuddle, in my opinion at least, was probably just some dude trying to hide the fact that he's the real cuddle-lover. 

I only enjoy cuddles with my puppy. 

I'm just a tinder whore who doesn't want to be cuddled. 

^^new tinder prof description? 

Pissed off.

Here's some shit that pisses me off on Tinder:

When a guy lies about his age. After we match and he's cute and we're talking, I get the feeling he isn't actually my age, and it turns out he's 19. 

When I get matched with a major hottie who ends up being over five thousand miles away from me. Like, that's not in my search radius, Tinder you idiot. 

When only unfortunate looking guys are showing up for an extended period of time. Sometimes I lose hope that there's anyone decent left in the city. 

When someone I realllllly want to match with doesn't immediately match with me. Maybe he hasn't seen me on his Tinder yet? (This had only happened like twice by the way, and both guys were almost celebs and a bit older, so I wasn't actually that upset)

I'm sure way more pisses me off but I can think right now. I'll go Tinder and maybe think of more to write. 

Awkward? Lie.

That awkward moment when..
You matched with some guy. You guys actually hang out, and he finds it legit weird that you guys met via some "dating app." He asks if you've ever met up with any other Tinder matches. You say, "I know, right! So weird. No, I've never met anyone, unless you count people I already somewhat knew and then just started messaging and decided to hang out!"
Yeah that's a big fucking lie!
You don't want this bro to think you're a ho.
That's what this blog is for though, to admit the things you'd get too harshly judged for if you said them in real life.
It would probably take some real hard thinking to figure out how many guys I actually have met via Tinder.
Maybe I'll try to remember some time when I'm really bored and have nothing else to do.

Curious.

I wonder what happens when you get blocked on Tinder?
I've blocked plenty of guys. Like when we match and they aren't as attractive as I first thought. Or if they're just way too obnoxious. Or are just pissing me off. Or if I get bored of someone. Or just becuase I might feel like it.
But I don't think anyone has ever blocked me. At least not that I know of? But I feel like their convo would disappear or something, like it does when I block someone?
Hmm.
Whatever.

Decoding secret messages.

Who else sees this way too often? 

The first time I saw this screen, I thought something must be wrong with the app. Like there's no way I've Tindered my way (mostly left-swipes) through this huge city I live in, you know?
But then I would make a larger radius. And new people showed up.
But I do still see this screen from time to time and I've come to a new conclusion.
Tinder is trying to tell me something. Well, something other than no new guys are around me and I may spend a little too much of my time Tindering.
I think maybe I need to move. Somewhere new and exciting. So I can get a fresh batch of Tinderos to mostly reject.
I'm not actually gonna move right now.
But I do need to go on more adventures or some shit.

Exciting Newz.

To all my fellow bitches and hos (if there are any reading this..)
I have some exciting news.
I've joined the world of Twitter.
@TheTinderWhore
^^Go follow me
I'll tweet and still blog.
I might be better at tweeting.
But I'm not positive.
Either way.
That's it.
xo.

Auto-swipe-left based on pics alone.

These are just a very few reasons for an automatic left-swipe:

Unattractive 

Younger than me 

Too old (like 10+ yrs older than me)

Only has selfies (unless wayy hot)

Only has mirror selfies

Has any mirror selfie w flash 

Has any selfie with pouty face (guys, you complain about girls doing that duck face thing, tinder has taught me that guys definitely do it too)

Only has group pics, like I have time to be a detective to find ya?

Bad body

Bad face
Has a kid

Only has one pic 

Looks gay (not that there's anything wrong with that, just not exactly what I'm looking for via tinder)

Appears short

Uses super outdated pics 

Doesn't know how to crop a pic 

Has the same pic like three times 

Has dick pic 

Looks emo

Has selfie while driving and making sideways peace sign 

Ummmm I'm sure there are way more I'll think of later. But that's it for now. And those were only based on the pics, I'll get to the description section no-nos some other time. 

Kbye, hope you dream about tinder. 

I swiped right for your friend.

How much of a total bitch would I be if I liked a guy (and obviously thus matched with him) only to ask him to set me up with a friend of his in his pics?

Don't worry. I'd only do that for a legit sexy man friend.

Bloglife.

Follow me on BlogLovin?

I want people to read my blog. How does whole blog thing work? Doesn't anyone care about my Tinderful life? I'll tell you such good stories. If you're a guy, you can learn how to Tinder and how not to Tinder. I'll win you the hottiez. If you're a girl, you can read some good shit, relate to me, also maybe learn some Tinder tips. Or maybe just laugh at what a joke my life is.
Peace Love Tinder

Hey bitches.

I might be a little bit addicted to Tinder. So what?