Winners. Not.

My bad for not posting yesterday. I need to get better at this bloglife. But here. I'll make it up to you (because I'm sure so many people missed me so much) with this winner of a post. Check out some of my favorite Tinderos I've come across! And yes, to protect their identities and save them any more embarrassment that they havent caused themselves, I blurred out the name and face, kinda. And if you even had to ask, maybe we aren't very good friends, but I definitely left swiped all these bros. No hesitation, well, after taking a screenshot.

I don't recommend making your Tinder prof pic one of you in jail. But hey, maybe some girls are into that shit (murderer, sex offender, felon, whatev)

Just lol. Nice photoshot work. But personally I don't hook up with guys who are into rainbows and flying otter things with laser eyes and light swords. That's just me.

I don't know why this picture exists, but I definitely was not curious enough to swipe right and ask him. 

Just fyi. The second photo this guy had was the exact same one but slightly more zoomed in. If that's your most flattering pic that you think will win you some ladiez, I don't even know what to say.

And then there's this one. I'm just afraid. P.S. His name was Spike…

Okayyyyy that's all for now, bitches. I'm sure I have more great screenshots on my phone somewhere that I'll share with you guys some other time. I'm gonna go Tinder now and try to find someone decent after re-living those guys^^

Kids these days use Tinder.

Tinder is like the Match.com for the younger generation -- well I guess some older people might use it too… The hip and modern generation? Something like that. Like have you noticed how all the online dating websites feature grandparents and senior citizens in their commercials? I feel like they used to have hot young couples and that was the cool thing to do, meet someone online, how tech savvy and craaazay. No longer though. Now that shit is old news and for old out-of-touch-with-modernity people who haven't realized that now it's all about these apps. Like Tinder duh. An app where you can swipe yes or no based on looks alone, and maybe a few words to describe yourself. What more could you want! Maybe some alcohol. Imma go drink now. Drinking and Tindering is one of the most exciting and entertaining things to do, and if you haven't tried it, I strongly recommed that you do it now.

Edit lists.

You know how you can now categorize your Tinder matches.

For instance...

Group one. "Elite sexies"

Two. "Quite attractive" 

Three. "Decent looks and decent convo"

Four. "Met in real life"

(I wouldn't have an ug group bc why would I right swipe someone ug. And I block the creepers so they don't get a group either.)

Not saying that I categorize my men by looks, but maybe I do. 

I feel like I kinda have different categories of friends in real life too. The just aren't labeled explicitly. Like I have a small group of besties. Then I have a group where I can be more sarcastic and talk about sex and be offensive without offending them. And I have a group of acquaintences that are still okay friends. And then a group of acquaintences I'd wave to or smile at but not much else. And everyone else can go in the obnoxious last category since I can't block people in real life. Sometimes it would be super convenient to have all my friends labeled though, because every now and then I might forget someone's category and next thing you know I say something way too sexual and then they're the ones wishing for a block button. That's only happened a couple times though. I think. 

Brilliant idea, if I do say so myself.

So this is my idea. And I think it would be pretty awesome if it happened, but maybe way stupid too.
You know the movie Project X? It's pretty epic and if you don't know that movie, I suggest you watch it.. Basically, in order to have the craziest party ever, these friends post the address and party info on craigslist, fb, every social media site, whatev. And they get what they asked for, a fucking out of control party.
Now think if you and a group of friends (with good taste) had a Project X -type party, but Tinder-style. Like you all just mass-Tindered all your attractive matches saying where and when the party would be. The details are up for discussion. If you really wanted, you could just have girls invite all their Tinderos or all the guys invite Tinder-hos for a way off balance party with major selection for one gender. Or have both invite matches, and have your matches invite their matches (if you trust them) etc and basically just have a ridiculous rager with (hopefully) mostly attractive people who are all just looking to hook up.
Well don't you think that's a good idea? Yeah.
If I get invited to a Project TinderX Party, I may have to reveal my identity in order to get some credit for that shit.

Awkward? Lie.

That awkward moment when..
You matched with some guy. You guys actually hang out, and he finds it legit weird that you guys met via some "dating app." He asks if you've ever met up with any other Tinder matches. You say, "I know, right! So weird. No, I've never met anyone, unless you count people I already somewhat knew and then just started messaging and decided to hang out!"
Yeah that's a big fucking lie!
You don't want this bro to think you're a ho.
That's what this blog is for though, to admit the things you'd get too harshly judged for if you said them in real life.
It would probably take some real hard thinking to figure out how many guys I actually have met via Tinder.
Maybe I'll try to remember some time when I'm really bored and have nothing else to do.

Curious.

I wonder what happens when you get blocked on Tinder?
I've blocked plenty of guys. Like when we match and they aren't as attractive as I first thought. Or if they're just way too obnoxious. Or are just pissing me off. Or if I get bored of someone. Or just becuase I might feel like it.
But I don't think anyone has ever blocked me. At least not that I know of? But I feel like their convo would disappear or something, like it does when I block someone?
Hmm.
Whatever.

Decoding secret messages.

Who else sees this way too often? 

The first time I saw this screen, I thought something must be wrong with the app. Like there's no way I've Tindered my way (mostly left-swipes) through this huge city I live in, you know?
But then I would make a larger radius. And new people showed up.
But I do still see this screen from time to time and I've come to a new conclusion.
Tinder is trying to tell me something. Well, something other than no new guys are around me and I may spend a little too much of my time Tindering.
I think maybe I need to move. Somewhere new and exciting. So I can get a fresh batch of Tinderos to mostly reject.
I'm not actually gonna move right now.
But I do need to go on more adventures or some shit.

Exciting Newz.

To all my fellow bitches and hos (if there are any reading this..)
I have some exciting news.
I've joined the world of Twitter.
@TheTinderWhore
^^Go follow me
I'll tweet and still blog.
I might be better at tweeting.
But I'm not positive.
Either way.
That's it.
xo.

I swiped right for your friend.

How much of a total bitch would I be if I liked a guy (and obviously thus matched with him) only to ask him to set me up with a friend of his in his pics?

Don't worry. I'd only do that for a legit sexy man friend.

Bloglife.

Follow me on BlogLovin?

I want people to read my blog. How does whole blog thing work? Doesn't anyone care about my Tinderful life? I'll tell you such good stories. If you're a guy, you can learn how to Tinder and how not to Tinder. I'll win you the hottiez. If you're a girl, you can read some good shit, relate to me, also maybe learn some Tinder tips. Or maybe just laugh at what a joke my life is.
Peace Love Tinder

Feeling philosophical.

Do all guys message girls just asking for hookups? No. I know they don't, because I have multiple friends who have gone on legit dates with their tinder boys.

But no one from Tinder has ever asked me on a date. They just invite me over to "have fun" or something.

I only sometimes go. 

But do I just match with these hookup-minded guys and no datey boys? Or do I give off the vibe that I'm potentially slutty enough to sleep with you without even needing you to buy me dinner first? 

Maybe it's a mix. The hot guys I like (puh-lease, like I would right swipe for someone not attractive...I have standards) who like me back might not be looking for more than a hookup. And I might not be either. But at least offer to but me a drink or something so I can blame it on the alcohol. 

It's whatever though. I'm over it. 

Now I have to get back to Tindering, I'm not at home right now so there may be some newbs in my search radius. 

True Story.

I went to a bar with some friends. I was gettin my drank on. A guy - not particularly hot but not all that bad looking - came up to me and probably started hitting on me, whatev. 
I was bored. 
So I asked him if he Tindered. He said no. I said we couldn't be friends.
My friends assumed I was drunk and apologized to the bro and tried shutting me up. I was only fairly tipsy. I was just being honest. 
If you don't Tinder, I probably don't want to associate myself with you.
Okay well it's Wednesday night. Go Tinder, bitchez.

Tinder is my friend.

I feel like I may have fewer "real-life" friends now than I did pre-Tinder.

Whatev. 

Don't need them bitches. 

Besides. Now I have more Tinder friends than I did before I had Tinder. Well duh.