Winners. Not.

My bad for not posting yesterday. I need to get better at this bloglife. But here. I'll make it up to you (because I'm sure so many people missed me so much) with this winner of a post. Check out some of my favorite Tinderos I've come across! And yes, to protect their identities and save them any more embarrassment that they havent caused themselves, I blurred out the name and face, kinda. And if you even had to ask, maybe we aren't very good friends, but I definitely left swiped all these bros. No hesitation, well, after taking a screenshot.

I don't recommend making your Tinder prof pic one of you in jail. But hey, maybe some girls are into that shit (murderer, sex offender, felon, whatev)

Just lol. Nice photoshot work. But personally I don't hook up with guys who are into rainbows and flying otter things with laser eyes and light swords. That's just me.

I don't know why this picture exists, but I definitely was not curious enough to swipe right and ask him. 

Just fyi. The second photo this guy had was the exact same one but slightly more zoomed in. If that's your most flattering pic that you think will win you some ladiez, I don't even know what to say.

And then there's this one. I'm just afraid. P.S. His name was Spike…

Okayyyyy that's all for now, bitches. I'm sure I have more great screenshots on my phone somewhere that I'll share with you guys some other time. I'm gonna go Tinder now and try to find someone decent after re-living those guys^^

Liez.

I feel like it's totally expected for people to lie on Tinder.
Some guy friends have told me that they've met multiple girls who looked super cute in their Tinder pics, and either they were way old or majorly photoshopped because these girls were real unfortunate lookin in real life. I haven't experienced that with any guys, but I'm sure it happens with them too.
So maybe I'm just not very trusting, but I never believe anyone who starts a convo with some line like this (all real examples)…
"I've never done this before but I was wondering if you wanted to meet up…"
"You're the first girl I've actually messaged on this thing and…"
"Wow I can't believe I'm actually using Tinder, but you're the only one I've actually wanted to talk to…"
"Your profile is the only one that's really caught me eye…"
etc. You get the picture. Like uh I'm sure you've said that to at least three other girls today. And maybe if you're lucky, one of the other bitches is stupid enough to think that's a sweet line and she'll respond and blow you later.

Awkward? Lie.

That awkward moment when..
You matched with some guy. You guys actually hang out, and he finds it legit weird that you guys met via some "dating app." He asks if you've ever met up with any other Tinder matches. You say, "I know, right! So weird. No, I've never met anyone, unless you count people I already somewhat knew and then just started messaging and decided to hang out!"
Yeah that's a big fucking lie!
You don't want this bro to think you're a ho.
That's what this blog is for though, to admit the things you'd get too harshly judged for if you said them in real life.
It would probably take some real hard thinking to figure out how many guys I actually have met via Tinder.
Maybe I'll try to remember some time when I'm really bored and have nothing else to do.

Curious.

I wonder what happens when you get blocked on Tinder?
I've blocked plenty of guys. Like when we match and they aren't as attractive as I first thought. Or if they're just way too obnoxious. Or are just pissing me off. Or if I get bored of someone. Or just becuase I might feel like it.
But I don't think anyone has ever blocked me. At least not that I know of? But I feel like their convo would disappear or something, like it does when I block someone?
Hmm.
Whatever.

Decoding secret messages.

Who else sees this way too often? 

The first time I saw this screen, I thought something must be wrong with the app. Like there's no way I've Tindered my way (mostly left-swipes) through this huge city I live in, you know?
But then I would make a larger radius. And new people showed up.
But I do still see this screen from time to time and I've come to a new conclusion.
Tinder is trying to tell me something. Well, something other than no new guys are around me and I may spend a little too much of my time Tindering.
I think maybe I need to move. Somewhere new and exciting. So I can get a fresh batch of Tinderos to mostly reject.
I'm not actually gonna move right now.
But I do need to go on more adventures or some shit.

Exciting Newz.

To all my fellow bitches and hos (if there are any reading this..)
I have some exciting news.
I've joined the world of Twitter.
@TheTinderWhore
^^Go follow me
I'll tweet and still blog.
I might be better at tweeting.
But I'm not positive.
Either way.
That's it.
xo.

I swiped right for your friend.

How much of a total bitch would I be if I liked a guy (and obviously thus matched with him) only to ask him to set me up with a friend of his in his pics?

Don't worry. I'd only do that for a legit sexy man friend.

Bloglife.

Follow me on BlogLovin?

I want people to read my blog. How does whole blog thing work? Doesn't anyone care about my Tinderful life? I'll tell you such good stories. If you're a guy, you can learn how to Tinder and how not to Tinder. I'll win you the hottiez. If you're a girl, you can read some good shit, relate to me, also maybe learn some Tinder tips. Or maybe just laugh at what a joke my life is.
Peace Love Tinder

Feeling philosophical.

Do all guys message girls just asking for hookups? No. I know they don't, because I have multiple friends who have gone on legit dates with their tinder boys.

But no one from Tinder has ever asked me on a date. They just invite me over to "have fun" or something.

I only sometimes go. 

But do I just match with these hookup-minded guys and no datey boys? Or do I give off the vibe that I'm potentially slutty enough to sleep with you without even needing you to buy me dinner first? 

Maybe it's a mix. The hot guys I like (puh-lease, like I would right swipe for someone not attractive...I have standards) who like me back might not be looking for more than a hookup. And I might not be either. But at least offer to but me a drink or something so I can blame it on the alcohol. 

It's whatever though. I'm over it. 

Now I have to get back to Tindering, I'm not at home right now so there may be some newbs in my search radius. 

True Story.

I went to a bar with some friends. I was gettin my drank on. A guy - not particularly hot but not all that bad looking - came up to me and probably started hitting on me, whatev. 
I was bored. 
So I asked him if he Tindered. He said no. I said we couldn't be friends.
My friends assumed I was drunk and apologized to the bro and tried shutting me up. I was only fairly tipsy. I was just being honest. 
If you don't Tinder, I probably don't want to associate myself with you.
Okay well it's Wednesday night. Go Tinder, bitchez.

Unfortunate.

Don't you hate it when the guy turns out to be the unfortunate looking one out of the group of friends? And he has like all group pics except the last one, so you have to scroll through them all and then you just get disappointed. Like just show your face in the first pic and save everyone some time. 

Tinder Tips for Guyz: What to Do and What Not to Do
^^That might be the name of my future book.

Reminiscing.

Remember back in the day when I didn't have my tinder notifications on? I actually had to go in the app to see new attractive matches or lame messages received. What a rookie. 

Tinder has only kind of taken over my life.

My friend said she thinks I have a Tinder problem. 

I realized that she's actually maybe probably right. 

So I've decided to work through my problem anonymously via the blogging world. 

Maybe I'll meet others who share this addiction. Maybe I won't - because I could be the only one still obsessed with or even using this app now.  

Maybe I'll make it through this struggle a better person, having learned some valuable life lessons and shit. Maybe I'll just get bored of blogging to potentially no one and I'll just go back to Tindering with sexy randos. 

Whatever. 

I'll probably post lots of random Tinder stories and experiences, not using anyone's real name or info. 

K welllll that's my little intro to this thang. 

I'm going to sleep now. 

Nighty night and sweet Tindering xo. 

Hey bitches.

I might be a little bit addicted to Tinder. So what?